Why Being Teased About My Dress Sense Made Me Stronger | NinkComPoop

bag1

This blog post was inspired by two things in particular. The first one being my adorable new alternative bags from a few affordable asian websites; and the second being two encounters I had with a couple of strangers a while ago…

The following links provided will lead you to all the items found below:
1) Cupcake: http://rstyle.me/~9ZOjC
2) Pineapple: http://rstyle.me/~9ZOjK
3) Mouse: http://womenfashion.storenvy.com/products/13684464-cute-kawaii-cartoon-mouse-backpack

bag9

Even though something pretty hurtful was happening, I was experiencing a really empowering moment

You might be wondering what I was referring to when I say ‘strange encounter’. It was actually one of the very few experiences I have ever had where even though something pretty hurtful was happening, I was experiencing a really empowering moment. The first instance happened during a night-out in my local town. I had over-heard a conversation between a friend of mine and her mate she had invited out. I remember the girl causing a fuss with my friend because she didn’t know who I was. I could hear my friend trying to assure her that I was a nice friend and good person…

bag4

She said “I don’t want to hang around her, she dresses differently” 

I was only in ear shot so I could hear every word being spoken at this point. The girl must have had a lot to drink or simply just didn’t care whether I could hear or not. The most rememberable thing I heard was “I don’t want to hang around her, she dresses differently”. In that moment, I was instantly back at school amongst young kids who would make remarks just like that one. I remember making some snide comment back to her about how I could very clearly hear everything she was saying. She didn’t care. She simply turned around so her back was facing me.

bag7

Somebody who is happy and content with their lives do not refuse to hang around somebody because they are ‘different’

Everybody who overheard this awkward situation happening didn’t really know what to do… The majority of them were actually more concerned about what I was going to do. Was the night out about to take an awful turn? Was I going to hit her? Was I about to melt down into a show of public hysterics? Was I going to start a fight? I can tell you now, none of those things are me! What I was going to do though, was remember this experience for a very long time… I took one look at this girl and mentally made a note to myself about what unhappiness looked like. I am not the most intelligent woman in the world, but if there is one thing I do know, it is that somebody who is happy and content with their lives, does not refuse to hang around with somebody because they are ‘different’.

bag6

If anything, it just made me feel more confident about how I choose to express myself

For the rest of my evening, I don’t remember feeling angry or becoming sad. I simply remember gaining a massive sense of pride and self respect. Not only had somebody noticed that I have the confidence to dress differently and put on clothes that I thought looked great, but I was able to disallow somebody with ill intentions to affect me. If anything, it just made me feel more confident about how I choose to express myself – especially in a world filled with people like her.

bag8

I remember pretending to laugh it off as she pointed down at my “awful” dress

Another fairly similar experience happened during a Big Brother audition (that’s a story in itself, click here to watch my story-time video on YouTube…). We were instructed to play a game where we had to ‘nominate’ people from the circle. Long story short, a girl had picked me because she didn’t like the way I dressed. Even though I had carefully planned to wear my lovely new floral vintage dress because I believed it looked great, she scowled at my dress and loudly made a “what are those awful pop socks” remark at my legs. (She was referring to my favourite pantyhose which are designed to look like stockings. I’ll leave a link here). As the entire room of 30 other people had heard her comment, I just remember pretending to laugh it off as she pointed down at my “awful” dress and stockings combination.

bag3

It reminded me that there are people out there who wouldn’t dare to be different

Both of those small experiences I had were so tiny and insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but both of those girls had no idea that they were making such a positive impact on my life. When I look back at these small encounters, I realise how much they helped me grow. Not only did it remind me that I have the guts to step outside the house and wear whatever the hell I want, but it reminded me that there are people out there who wouldn’t dare be different. So much so, that they would rather bash other people down for having the balls to. There I was, doing whatever the hell I wanted, completely forgetting just how happy and oblivious I am in my own little world of fashion, hair and makeup choices.

bag2

Nobody who has ever knocked another person down has truly ever been ‘on top’

I really hope that reading this blog post can give you that little nudge of reassurance if you double take your appearance when walking past a mirror to ask yourself whether people will have something rude to say. While you’re out there expressing your kick ass clothing taste, others are green with envy as they watch. Nobody who has ever knocked another person down has ever truly been ‘on top’ – in fact, the very reason somebody will ever try and bring you down is to pull you onto their level. Whoever is trying to bring you down is already below you: don’t you ever find yourself stooping that low.

 

Advertisements

How to solve creative block & find inspiration | NinkComPoop

Inspiration is funny because it’s one of those things that you don’t realise you have until it’s gone. It truly is the most powerful tool you can have and the most successful people on earth would not have conquered without it. So – how do we find it? I have cooked up a few of my own methods for finding inspiration to get the creative ball rolling!

1) LOOK FOR SUCCESS AND CRAVE IT

My biggest inspiration by far, comes from watching success happen to other people. Surround yourself in people mastering the talents that you are working on yourself. Whatever it may be… read, watch, listen to, or research those that are busy chasing their dreams. If that doesn’t inspire me to do the same thing that they are… nothing will. I just love settling down to a good documentary or book focused on someone or something that I look up to.

2) KEEP YOUR MIND CLEAR AND FOCUSED

Inspiration is impossible for me to grab if my head is cluttered and I’m not entirely sure what steps I need to be taking in order to reach my stepping stone goals. I recommend to get yourself a fancy planner (the prettier it is, the more excited you’ll be to use it) to keep all your big plans and ideas down. It is important that you make a realistic order of when and how you want these ideas to happen. This can be small goals set for each day of the week, or big goals you want to reach per week (I prefer achieving small steps a day so that I can go to bed feeling accomplished…). Analyse your plans/ideas from all angles! The more clear my plan of action is, the more inspired I will be to make it happen.

3) CLEAR YOUR SPACE

You are going to hate me for this one. But your head will have no room for big ideas or the desire to do something creative if you are sat in a messy room. The more space and area you have to work with, the more space your mind will have free to let creative juices flow! Keep corners tidy, desk spaces clear and shelves nicely decorated. Some motivational quotes hanging on the wall are a must-have for me.

4) FIND YOUR ‘GOLDEN HOUR’

The very first thing I was taught during my creative media degree course, was how essential it is for you to find out when you work at your best standard. My tutor told me that he didn’t care what time of the day I needed, as long as I’ve discovered my best working hours, and I make the most of using them. Recognise what time of the day you randomly begin to notice you work to your best standards and do whatever you can to make sure those hours are kept free so that you can work through them.

5) CHANGE YOUR SURROUNDINGS

I work from home, meaning that I don’t have to travel somewhere everyday to get on with work. Which sounds like a blessing… but sometimes I really find myself wishing that I had an office or space to travel to everyday. It can be mind numbingly painful to lock yourself up in a bedroom for days and days – which constantly causes me huge mental blocks. Staring at the same four walls is painful. Don’t make the same mistake! Step outside, take in some fresh air, find a gorgeous view, go for a walk. Not only will this recharge your batteries, but a great surrounding to watch can wake that brain right back up (so don’t forget that notebook!)

6) FIND YOUR MUG OF FOCUS

This is of course a personal preference… but if you love coffee or tea as much as I do, you would already know how much wonder it does to kick your ass out of sleepy zone. Whether that is early in the morning when I am ready to work on my to-do list, or after lunch when I feel myself getting back out of focus. My job also involves a lot of filming, and sometimes it just isn’t natural to be full of fun and energy every hour of the day… A little splash of coffee often does the trick!

7) FINISH THE DAY ACCOMPLISHED

To-do lists are the secret to life. BELIEVE ME. I am one of those irritating people who get huge kicks out of productivity. It sounds great but that also means I can get really low when I am not able to get a lot done. Similar to your planner, get yourself a white board, chalk board, phone app (wunderlist is amazing) or simply a sticky note that you can write small goals on that you want to achieve by the end of the day. Did I mention how good it feels to cross each one off?

8) FIND YOUR HAPPY PLACE

Lastly, similar to finding your most productive time of the day, knowing where is most comfortable and effective for you will be so useful, particularly during times when you are finding it hard to focus. Whether yours is on your favourite bench outside, in a big bubbly bath, amongst nice smelling candles or simply on the cozy-ness of your own bed – do whatever works for you.

I’d love to hear what methods work for you. Good luck reaching your goals!
Ellie