Why Being Teased About My Dress Sense Made Me Stronger | NinkComPoop

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This blog post was inspired by two things in particular. The first one being my adorable new alternative bags from a few affordable asian websites; and the second being two encounters I had with a couple of strangers a while ago…

The following links provided will lead you to all the items found below:
1) Cupcake: http://rstyle.me/~9ZOjC
2) Pineapple: http://rstyle.me/~9ZOjK
3) Mouse: http://womenfashion.storenvy.com/products/13684464-cute-kawaii-cartoon-mouse-backpack

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Even though something pretty hurtful was happening, I was experiencing a really empowering moment

You might be wondering what I was referring to when I say ‘strange encounter’. It was actually one of the very few experiences I have ever had where even though something pretty hurtful was happening, I was experiencing a really empowering moment. The first instance happened during a night-out in my local town. I had over-heard a conversation between a friend of mine and her mate she had invited out. I remember the girl causing a fuss with my friend because she didn’t know who I was. I could hear my friend trying to assure her that I was a nice friend and good person…

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She said “I don’t want to hang around her, she dresses differently” 

I was only in ear shot so I could hear every word being spoken at this point. The girl must have had a lot to drink or simply just didn’t care whether I could hear or not. The most rememberable thing I heard was “I don’t want to hang around her, she dresses differently”. In that moment, I was instantly back at school amongst young kids who would make remarks just like that one. I remember making some snide comment back to her about how I could very clearly hear everything she was saying. She didn’t care. She simply turned around so her back was facing me.

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Somebody who is happy and content with their lives do not refuse to hang around somebody because they are ‘different’

Everybody who overheard this awkward situation happening didn’t really know what to do… The majority of them were actually more concerned about what I was going to do. Was the night out about to take an awful turn? Was I going to hit her? Was I about to melt down into a show of public hysterics? Was I going to start a fight? I can tell you now, none of those things are me! What I was going to do though, was remember this experience for a very long time… I took one look at this girl and mentally made a note to myself about what unhappiness looked like. I am not the most intelligent woman in the world, but if there is one thing I do know, it is that somebody who is happy and content with their lives, does not refuse to hang around with somebody because they are ‘different’.

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If anything, it just made me feel more confident about how I choose to express myself

For the rest of my evening, I don’t remember feeling angry or becoming sad. I simply remember gaining a massive sense of pride and self respect. Not only had somebody noticed that I have the confidence to dress differently and put on clothes that I thought looked great, but I was able to disallow somebody with ill intentions to affect me. If anything, it just made me feel more confident about how I choose to express myself – especially in a world filled with people like her.

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I remember pretending to laugh it off as she pointed down at my “awful” dress

Another fairly similar experience happened during a Big Brother audition (that’s a story in itself, click here to watch my story-time video on YouTube…). We were instructed to play a game where we had to ‘nominate’ people from the circle. Long story short, a girl had picked me because she didn’t like the way I dressed. Even though I had carefully planned to wear my lovely new floral vintage dress because I believed it looked great, she scowled at my dress and loudly made a “what are those awful pop socks” remark at my legs. (She was referring to my favourite pantyhose which are designed to look like stockings. I’ll leave a link here). As the entire room of 30 other people had heard her comment, I just remember pretending to laugh it off as she pointed down at my “awful” dress and stockings combination.

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It reminded me that there are people out there who wouldn’t dare to be different

Both of those small experiences I had were so tiny and insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but both of those girls had no idea that they were making such a positive impact on my life. When I look back at these small encounters, I realise how much they helped me grow. Not only did it remind me that I have the guts to step outside the house and wear whatever the hell I want, but it reminded me that there are people out there who wouldn’t dare be different. So much so, that they would rather bash other people down for having the balls to. There I was, doing whatever the hell I wanted, completely forgetting just how happy and oblivious I am in my own little world of fashion, hair and makeup choices.

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Nobody who has ever knocked another person down has truly ever been ‘on top’

I really hope that reading this blog post can give you that little nudge of reassurance if you double take your appearance when walking past a mirror to ask yourself whether people will have something rude to say. While you’re out there expressing your kick ass clothing taste, others are green with envy as they watch. Nobody who has ever knocked another person down has ever truly been ‘on top’ – in fact, the very reason somebody will ever try and bring you down is to pull you onto their level. Whoever is trying to bring you down is already below you: don’t you ever find yourself stooping that low.

 

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Where is Happiness?

I visited the location of where my big sister will be getting married today. Though the area will look much greener in the summer, and the weather will paint a lovely orange glow on everything, it did still feel magical getting a glance into where my sister/best friend will be marrying the lady of her dreams.

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It was not until I made it up the hill towards the lovely view when I realised that this area was one of the many places my dad would take my sister and I when we were little. When you’re younger, you never really take in your area the same way you do when you’re older. Your tiny, carefree world made you the most mindful you will ever be. Most often, it didn’t matter how you got somewhere or why you were there – the important thing was, you are there and each part of your small, innocent mind is taking that all in.

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Because what I do involves being an online influence, there are a lot of people that hold on to my word (which has it’s good and bad sides). A question I get a lot is “where do I find happiness?”. Though I am most definitely not always happy, I have moments where I notice my current state of happiness being particularly good for a long while. I often use that time to analyse what I may be doing differently. That child-like mindset I was referring to earlier always seems to be the answer. The moment I keep my mind out of doubtful worry mode, is the moment I am free. Free from stress, anxiety, pain, fear, misery… and most importantly, sadness. It isn’t easy living in the moment, but when you do, it sets you free.

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To focus on the present, we should always recognise what we have instead of what we do not have or what we had. It is very easy for us to be caught up in our own little world when life moves so quickly and change hits us hard. We begin to dwell on the old times and often forget that we are still living. Amazing things are always happening, the trick is noticing them when they are. Taking in key moments now, rather than later when they are gone is essential. Here I was, on high down hill, taking in the moment just as I did when I was little, and just as I will when my sister speaks her vows. The very same place that I enjoyed with her many years ago for a very different reason – playing in the leaves in our kiddie welly boots will soon turn into nervous giggling in our beautiful wedding clothes (and probably a cry or two on my part).

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Of course, with the good times will come the bad. It is easier to be happy during the wonderful times, for sure. But when the tricky times come fast approaching, what do you do or where do you turn? Believe it or not, these times play just as much of a big part as the good ones. Just like with everything in life… How do you know what your favourite food is if you hadn’t tried a number of different ones? How do you know what your favourite hobby is if you hadn’t taken part in a few? How do you know what happiness feels like if you’ve never experienced sadness? The moments in your life when sadness hits you like a cold, unwanted brick sucks… But people with the biggest stories, darkest moments and greatest accomplishments can put up the best of fights.

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You live life to grow as a person, and with each day you wake up, you form into the person you were born to be. Let every rough experience that knocks you give you growth, and let every marvellous one remind you that life is worth living again. Take lots of pauses, and even more deep breaths as you soak in your surroundings as they are today.

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“What day is it?”
It’s today,” squeaked Piglet.
My favorite day,” said Pooh.”
― A.A. Milne

“Happiness, not in another place but this place…
not for another hour, but this hour.”
― Walt Whitman

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